Sweet Dreams
by Black Perla
Summary: What happens when you wake up and find yourself in bed with the last person you ever dreamt of? What if this happens several times? Find out, but beware of concussions! A SLASHY parody. Nothing explicit.


**Summary:** What happens when you wake up and find yourself in bed with the last person you ever dreamt of? What ifthis happens several times? Find out, but beware of concussions! A SLASHY parody. Nothing explicit.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The only thing I invented in this mad story is the mental plot. Harry and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers.

**Warning: **This is SLASH! Don't like it, don't read it. Anyway, it's rated **T** for the implication, no action, really, just a few heart attacks on Harry's behalf.

**Author's note: **I've chattered enough, so I'll leave you to the story. I hope it's ok, I've never really done something of this sort. Except for my other story "Murphy's Law is Seriously Overrated." Just Remember to REVIEW! As for flames… SHOO! Stay way, if you haven't got constructive criticism PLEASE don't waste my time. Let the show begin!Personally I think it's weird.

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"Sweet Dreams"

by

_**Black Perla**_

****

"POTTER?"

"Hmm…?" mumbled the raven haired boy, plunging further into the soft pillow. "What?"

"You're… you're a _girl!_"

"Hmm, really?"

"…"

"WHAT?" shouted the raven haired, a-hem, boy turned girl. "Oh my God! I've, I've got boobs and I, I just had… sex with you? _We _had sex?" he shouted even more scandalized, looking into the grey eyes of Draco Malfoy.

The blonde boy, equally as shocked, nodded in confirmation. Harry potter fainted.

* * *

Something was tickling his chin. Something greasy, something that seemed like long hair.

"C'mon love, wake up."

"Mmm…" mumbled Harry, incoherently, "Five more minutes mum."

"Mph… ha ha ha ha ha ha!" came the rich laughter, then the deep voice, "C'mon lazy bones, you're late for classes, you wouldn't want to be late for potions."

"Merlin, no! Snape would skin me alive."

This resulted in more rich laughter. Harry cracked open an eye and noted his surroundings. He was in a very Slytherin room. He shivered slightly as he remembered the horrific dream he'd had concerning a certain blond haired _Slytherin_. Suddenly a head was nuzzling his neck, the hair tickling his nose. Getting aroused, he slowly ran his hands in the long, silky…greasy…? Greasy hair? Suddenly his bedroom partner looked up and Harry screamed and shot up from the bed, promptly hitting his head on the open window.

His last coherent thought before he fainted completely was: "Why the hell was there a window in Snape's bedroom chamber?"

* * *

"Ah, you've finally awoken! How are you feeling Mr. Potter?"

"… like shit." Said Harry, groaning as the familiar light hit his eyes and he noticed the blinding white walls of the Infirmary.

"That was a nasty fall," said Madame Pomfrey, "_really_, this must be the fifth time you've stopped by the Infirmary, in a month!"

"What happened?" asked Harry, sitting up and drinking the fowl tasting potion, the nurse had handed him earlier.

"You acquired a concussion. You were walking to your potions class and hit a window whilst turning a corner. Really… " muttered Madame Pomfrey exasperatedly, "I've never met _anyone_ as accident prone, as yourself."

"Madame? Did my friends show up by chance?"

"As a matter of fact they did, but I threw them out. I can't have teenagers disturbing my patients!" she huffed, before stalking to her office and shutting herself in.

Once Harry was sure the nurse wouldn't be exiting any time soon, he quickly got dressed and snuck out of the Infirmary. Walking down the corridor to the Tower, he gave a thought or two to the scary dreams he'd had. He'd never be able to look at Snape's hair again, without risking severe trauma.

He finally reached the portrait and gave the password, which he now remembered. He walked in and suddenly found a bunch of bushy hair in his face.

"Hello, Hermione," he said, smiling, prying the girl from his robes and answering her questions on his health. "Hey, mate." Said Harry, catching sight of Ron and sharing a knowing glance at Hermione's smothering behaviour.

Harry stayed up until half past ten, finally the signs of weariness made themselves heard and he quietly excused himself and ran up to the seventh years' dormitory. He quickly undressed and got into bed wearing only his boxers. He put his wand on the bedside table and muttered a quiet _"__Nox."_

Pulling the covers up to his chest, he turned on his side and, before drifting off into slumber, muttered: "At least I won't be having weird dreams, now. I think I've had my fair share."

However, Harry failed to notice the small, blonde haired pixie sitting on his pillow. "I think _not,_ Mr. Potter. _Sweet dreams,_" it said, before disappearing in a cloud of green smoke, cackling evilly, "_word of Lucius Malfoy!_"

* * *

The morning sun filtered through the windows and hit Harry in the eyes, as he'd forgotten to draw the curtains around his bed. Strangely the room was deathly quiet, as if empty. Reaching over to grab his glasses, he was aided by someone, who perched them on his nose.

"Thanks," he mumbled distractedly, taking in the emptiness of the room. Suddenly he became aware of the fact that someone had handed him his glasses. He turned around and nearly screamed his head off at the sight of Tom Marvolo Riddle straddling his waist, if it weren't for the hand muffling his mouth.

"Good morning, Sunshine," said the Dark Lord. Harry tried not to gag. (A/N: Me too! That was so corny!)

Harry tried to scramble off the bed, but was stuck. And even if the other boy, for Riddle had turned back to his sixteen year old self, hadn't been sitting on top of him, he would have been stuck by the strategically placed chains on his ankles and wrists.

"Riddle…" he said, trying to prevent himself from hyperventilating, "what… what? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STRADDLING MY LAP WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING ME?"

"Hun," muttered the sexy dark Lord, "We've been lovers since twelve."

Harry nearly fainted.

"You're a dream… a dream," he mumbled incoherently, clearly dazed, "I'm gonna wake up… and then I'll, I'll… I'll go to the Great Hall and I'll have breakfast…?"

Tom smiled and lowered his face, clearly ready to kiss Harry; Harry squeaked and tried to scramble away. "But Tom, I'm not gay, I'm straight…what…? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE…MMPH."

Harry was cut off by the kiss. Once Tom had finished he lifted his mouth and Harry screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAARGGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Harry shot up from the bed, breathing heavily.

"OH. MY. GOD… Merlin, it was a dream… all a dream… thank you! God, Merlin, whoever is up there…thank you. Oh, but what if he's hiding somewhere here? I need Ron."

Said boy had heard Harry scream and was now standing near his friend's bed.

"Hey, mate, are you OK?"

"Ron… thank God it's you… I had the weirdest dream ever. Scariest… I think I'm scarred for life."

"Mate, it must have been all those chocolate frogs we had yesterday. You know, too much chocolate… Even the other's were acting all weird. Dean told me that Seamus woke up singing," both boys grimaced, "and that he went down to the Great Hall, and when he met McGonagall he smacked her on her ass, muttering something about galloping gargoyles."

"I really hope it was the chocolate."

"Of course it was! Otherwise why would you dream of…?"

"Malfoy, Snape and Voldemort."

"Harry, mate, that must have been one hell of a nightmare."

"yeah…" muttered Harry, finishing getting dressed. "I'm going to the Hall to grab a piece of toast… meet you back here?"

"Sure, Har."

Harry thanked his friend and walked out of the dormitory. Once the door was shut closed, Ron let an evil smile creep up on his face. Suddenly he disappeared in a cloud of green smoke. All that was left on the carpet, where he'd been standing, was a strand of long white blonde hair as the evil cackles of the green pixie reverberated along the stone walls…

"Mwahahahahahahahahaa!"

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**A/N2: **O-Kay… I trust you've figured I'm mental by now, but what's an author to do when she's bored? Write maniacal stories, of course! Please review! And no flames!


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